Wired For Dominion

For years, anxiety was my uninvited guest, an unwelcome specter lurking in the shadows of my mind. I mistook its whispers for the onset of illness, unaware of the insidious nature of the beast I was wrestling with.

This internal tormentor was a master of disguise. Sometimes, it manifested as a gut-wrenching knot that twisted and tightened with every approaching deadline. Other times, a dark cloud of melancholy would descend, casting a gloomy pall over my entire being. But perhaps the most perplexing symptom was a nervous agitation that vibrated through my body, leaving me feeling like a tightly wound spring on the verge of snapping.

Each episode was a harrowing ordeal, a battle against an unseen enemy that seemed to have an endless supply of tricks up its sleeve. It was a lonely, isolating struggle, as I grappled with the invisible chains that bound me to a life of fear and uncertainty. But as I began to understand the true nature of my affliction, a glimmer of hope emerged from the darkness.

The fog began to lift in 2021. A devastating anxiety attack, so severe it had my family fearing the worst, became a catalyst for understanding. It started as a gnawing ache in my shoulder, a creeping tendril of pain that eventually snaked its way down to my feet, leaving me somewhat paralyzed as my feet could not carry my weight.

One afternoon, while helping my sister at her boutique, the darkness overtook me. I collapsed, my body succumbing to the invisible weight of fear. My sister rushed me to the ER, her eyes wide with worry. Yet, amidst the flurry of tests and scans, nothing alarming was found. The medical mystery only deepened the sense of dread.

Word spread quickly in our coastal community, and whispers of witchcraft swirled around me like a sinister wind. But amidst the fear and speculation, my heart yearned for something more: understanding. I was determined to unravel the enigma of my condition, to break free from the clutches of this invisible enemy.

My knight in shining armor, my husband, swooped in from afar, his urgency a testament to his love. He whisked me away to a neurologist, determined to uncover the root of my torment. Little did I know, this was the first step on a path that would change my life forever.

After a battery of tests and probing questions, the doctor delivered a verdict that should have brought relief but instead ignited a new wave of panic. “Your body is perfectly healthy,” he declared.

Perfectly healthy? I was dumbfounded. Wasn’t that good news? But I craved a diagnosis, a label that would explain my suffering and offer a roadmap to healing. Instead, I felt adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

Desperately, I recounted a previous episode, listing the medications that had briefly quelled the storm within. The doctor’s response was a lightning bolt of revelation: “Those are not nervous medications.”

What? The world as I knew it tilted on its axis. If not nerves, then what?

A maelstrom of confusion swirled within me as I left the doctor’s office, my thoughts racing like frightened horses. My husband, ever the pillar of strength, reached out to comfort me, but I shook my head. If the doctor said I was fine, then fine I would be. I’d reclaim my power.

We walked in silence, my body weak and trembling, yet a defiant mantra echoed in my mind: “I am well. I am strong.” With each shaky step, I repeated these words, a desperate attempt to convince myself, to override the terror that still gnawed at my core.

The details of that day – the silent walk, and the lunch we shared at Tarboush – remain a blur. My mind was wrestling with a paradox: a body screaming in agony, yet deemed perfectly healthy by medical science.

Back home, a surge of defiance welled up within me. I blasted my favorite worship song, determined to dance my way through the storm. As the music filled the room, I moved, my body swaying and twirling in a desperate symphony of pain and hope. And by the time the final notes faded, something incredible happened: the pain receded, the tension melted away, and a sense of peace washed over me.

In that moment, I understood that healing was not just a physical process, but a spiritual one. It was a dance with the divine, a surrender to a power greater than myself. And as I stood there, bathed in the afterglow of the music, I knew that I had glimpsed a deeper truth, a truth that would guide me on my journey to wholeness.

Alas, this was not the final curtain call for my anxiety. It would become a recurring character in the play of my life, a shapeshifter morphing into new and unexpected forms.

But here’s the twist: I have learned its tricks, its disguises, its secret entrances and exits. It is no longer a silent saboteur, but a predictable villain. And every time it dares to darken my doorstep, I meet it head-on, armed with the knowledge of its weaknesses and the power of my resilience.

Each encounter becomes a showdown, a battle between fear and faith, between darkness and light. And though the struggle is far from over, I have found a newfound strength, a defiant spirit that whispers, “Not today, anxiety. Not on my watch.”

Why am I pouring my heart out, sharing the raw truth of my struggles? Because, dear reader, I’m here to shake you awake, to remind you of your birthright, your divine inheritance. This world wasn’t designed for you to merely survive,but to thrive, to conquer, to dominate.

You, my friend, are a masterpiece, a living, breathing reflection of the Almighty. You’re not meant to be a puppet of circumstance, a prisoner of fear or doubt. You’re meant to rule, to reign, to wield power over every challenge, every obstacle, every whisper of the enemy.

So, here’s your challenge, your invitation to step into your true identity:

• Open your eyes. Look beyond the surface, beyond the lies and limitations whispered by the world. Gaze into the mirror of God’s Word and see yourself as He sees you: a son, a ruler, a king over the earth.
• Take back your mind. Don’t let it be a playground for the enemy. Fill it with truth, with the promises of God, with the reality of your authority in Christ.
• Embrace your God-given power. You have dominion over fear, anxiety, sickness, and lack. Step into that authority, and watch the chains that have bound you crumble at your feet.

This isn’t just about feeling good, it’s about living the life God intended for you, a life of abundance, victory, and unbridled joy. So, rise up, my friend, and reclaim your throne. The world is waiting for you to unleash your full potential.